Truth be told, I just felt like being quiet. For many reasons, not the least of which was seeing Grumbles off to kinder. She's doing two full days this year, which has been a bit of a shock to my system. I've been so used to having my little mate around me for the last four and a half years, that I found it to be quite distressing to watch as the cord that binds us became more and more frayed as she ventured further into the world without me by her side.
Don't get me wrong - I'm pleased as punch that she's walked forward so confidently, displaying such eagerness to embrace the magical big wide world. Inside, however, I felt like I'd been sucker-punched each time I kissed her goodbye then walked down the street by myself, instead of having my lovely girl chattering away besides me.
Throw in swimming lessons, music lessons, French and photography lessons for me, plus a whole heap of craziness on the side, and you'll find a rather full-on start to our year. My brain has been running around, trying to absorb and digest everything, as has my slightly breaking wee heart. So even though my inner dialogue has been racing along at it's usual pace, I just found that I've had not much to say.
I've also been wrestling with the big question: what will I do with myself when Grumbles goes to school? It's less than a year away now, and I still have no idea what I want to do when I grow up. Should I become a knitwear designer, a fancy that often fills in a few happy hours of daydreaming? Or should I write the book that the Galumph swears I have in me? Maybe I should just suck it up and settle back down into the corporate world, working for the man as a tech writer, glad to have a wage coming in, even if my creative side feels stifled and dulled. So many questions, so few answers! If anybody wants to figure it out for me, let me know!
I will say one thing, though: I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. It's good to be back.