Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Lady Jorth cast her knitting down upon her book, and reflected that she and cable needles would never - simply never! - get along. If it wasn't hiding underneath a cushion the moment she needed it, then it was slipping out of it's stitches, leaving her to watch in dismay as her swatch for Cherry unravelled. She ran her hand lightly over her sore face, and gave forth a great sigh.
Her husband, Sir Galumph, looked up at the exhalation and, ruffling the pages of his broadsheet, inquired "Why, whatever is the matter, my dear?"
"Oh, it's nothing really - just these blasted pimples on my chin. They do hurt one so!"
"How, at the ripe old age of 30, do you come to be having pimples, my love?", inquired Sir Galumph. He carefully put down his paper, and strolled over to have a closer look. "My God!", he cried as he recoiled in horror. "You dare call these pimples? My girl, you have a veritable pimple goatee! Please explain immediatley how such a thing has come about!"
Blushing, Lady Jorth tried to cover her face with her hands. "Well, it was that business with the hairs!", she cried. "I glanced in the glass the other morning, and realised that I was growing an absolute beard, so I thought to myself that something had to be done, and rushed off to the beauty salon for a wax."
"A beard!" murmured Sir Galumph in tones mixing disbelief with detestation.
Glancing up at his tone, Lady Jorth was struck anew with the abhorrance her new look was causing those around her. She glanced over at Jeeves, who resolutely kept his eyes to the ground. Falteringly, she went on. "And now it appears that I've had some sort of reaction, resulting in the formation of - what did you call it?"
"A pimple goatee", groaned Sir Galumph.
"Yes! A pimple goatee! And to think that we have the garden party on Sunday. I can never face the world in this state!". Wildly she rushed from the room, tears coursing down the valleys and hills of her now acne-scarred face, knitting left behind and forgotten.
"Jeeves!", bellowed Sir Galumph. "Get me a whiskey - a strong one!"