Countdown!


It's my 100th post in four posts time. Crikey! I had a few ideas for celebrating, like blogging in the nude (too cold), witholding my blogging talents until all countries in the world united and came up with workable strategies to deal with climate change (no one returned my calls) or, just for pure novelty value, blogging at the top of a pole (scared of heights). So it would appear that I must fall back on that hairy old chestnut, the 100 things post. With a twist, however - I shall spread mine out over 5 days, just so all my wonderful readers can wake up each day and savour the joy of anticipation: What wonders will she reveal to us today? Or something like that.

Plus the camera isn't playing fair, so no new pics to show. Ahem. Let the countdown begin!

100 - My real name isn't Jorth. But I suspect you'd already figured that out.
99 - Likewise, I didn't actually christen my daughter with the name 'Grumbles'. It's much worse that than, bwahahah!
98 - After three entries I'm already sick of talking about myself. This is rather odd, considering this blog is all about me, me, me.
97 - Once I cut the top of my thumb off on a meat slicer (salami was the culprit). I staggered out the back, passed out and had a fit, in the process giving my boss a nice right hook and splattering her with blood. She had to throw her shirt away as she couldn't get the blood stains out. Eeeeew!
96 - Two years later I mangled two knuckles on another meat slicer. You can only see the scars when I'm really cold.
95 - I love red shoes.
94 - I also love high heels, but alas, cannot wear them as I have bung knees (yes, that is the correct medical term).
93 - I once trained as a mortuary technician. It was a bit of a dead-end job (note to self: must find better mortuary technician joke). Actually, it was a very sad job. Not to mention messy and smelly. And I didn't find the uniform of biohazard suit, gumboots, lab glasses and mesh gloves to be particulary attractive.
92 - When I was a child, I wanted to be a librarian. Sometimes, I still think I do.
91 - I still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up. However, I do harbour a secret ambition to be an internet rock star.
90 - Before I had Grumbles, I wrote professionally for a living. I was a technical writer. What does one do? This: Composes written matter relating to instructions, policies, procedures, science, math, or engineering for use in external or internal company publications. Investigates and studies material used through examination of systems, diagrams, and interviews. Plans and produces contents of training guides. Yes, it was nearly as exciting as it sounds.
89 - I love food. Eating it, cooking it, reading about it.
88 - If I continue to collect food magazines and recipe books, we may need to invest in another bookshelf.
87 - I am very particular about the way dishes are done. I have a system, and by George it works. If you can't follow the system, don't even offer to do the dishes in my house.
86 - No. 87 worries me a little bit. If I'm like this now, what will I be like when I'm older? Doesn't bear thinking about.
85 - I love bad pirate jokes. Like this one: What kind of movies do pirates watch? ARRRRRR-rated ones!
84 - I sometimes wonder why my husband puts up with me.
83 - I grew up on a diary farm. Still, this didn't stop me from identifying a cow as a bear when we were in Canada.
82 - One of my dreams is to ride around Prince Edward Island.
81 - At my wedding reception, which was held in the unit we were living in at the time, we hired an Irish backpacker we'd found in a pub only a few days before to cook the bbq, as the girl who was meant to cook the sausages got hit by a 15 year old driving a stolen car as she walked along a footpath in North Melbourne, and had her leg broken. It was kind of hard to explain that to people.

Rightio, more Jorth snippets tomorrow!

justinamaria  – (2:02 pm)  

happy lead up to 100!
is your desire to ride around Prince Edward Island an Anne of Green Gables thing by any chance?? or is that just me?

leslie  – (2:03 pm)  

bloody hilarious! can't wait to hear what is revealed tomorrow...

jorth  – (2:08 pm)  

I'm so totally busted. Yes, it is Anne of Green Gables . Plus they have rail trails all the way around, which should make for a lovely, picturesque ride.

chest of drawers  – (2:33 pm)  

You are hysterical! Can´t wait to read more!

Janet  – (3:04 pm)  

Very funny.. I am so with you on #87... Looking forward to another instalment tomorrow!

Fiona  – (4:12 pm)  

Happy 96th - excellent list! I'm totally with you on #87, too. There IS a right way to do these things, and I've been known to get royally snarky if they aren't done 'properly'. (Oh dear...)

Alice  – (5:52 pm)  

Very interesting. I really like reading these 100 things about people. What are "bung" knees? I've never heard of that. And why were you around so many meat slicers? Not in the mortuary, I hope (ugh!). Oh you must have worked in a deli or something (just read that bit again).

Can't wait for the next lot.

jorth  – (6:30 pm)  

Alice, bung knees are just sad old, worn out knees. And yes, I did work in a deli, hence the meat slicer injuries. We used some interesting tools in the mortuary, but no meat slicers, thank goodness!

Cherry Rolfe  – (8:15 pm)  

Fascinating!! Vat ve hef here is a clessic case ov normality rarely seen in ze vestern vorld. Ve look forvard to furzer study.

herhimnbryn  – (8:24 pm)  

Hee!
Chopped fingers. Did it put you off meat?
Librarian..... me too, then spoke with Librarian, who told me about budget cuts and systems and indexing. It didn't sound so romatic then!
I SHALL wait with baited breath for the next installments!

nichola  – (8:43 pm)  

v funny! I spent some time in a mortuary, the gum boots, ugh!

Vita  – (4:02 am)  

Brilliant snippets. Will be looking for more. More more more.

Suse  – (8:44 pm)  

I love that you grew up on a diary farm.

I picture green grassy hills covered with little black filofaxes and calendars grazing peacefully in front of a setting sun.

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